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By Steve Scroggins Most of the time, I'd rather read my Microsoft License Agreement or my IRS Instructions for 1040 than watch an award show on TV. However, I might make an exception if my proposal is enacted. The Emcee should be Rush Limbaugh simply because he annoys so many people. Everyone's heard of Emmy's, Grammy's, Oscars, People's Choice (sounds communist), and various other award shows. Some show (Was It "Not Necessarily The News" on HBO?) once featured a Golden Screw award for best government ripoff, screwup or injustice. My proposed Award Show would be for the Biggest, Best, most ingenious LIES. With the Clintons in the White House, there's little question who would DOMINATE the night and leave with the most prizes. I suggest we call these awards WHOPPERs or maybe SHAMMYs. The category is the BOLDEST BOLD-FACED Lie...and the nominees are...
Bill Clinton for .... "my budget plan will balance the budget AND protect Medicare, Medicaid, and the environment...." Janet Reno.... "I see no evidence to justify an independent counsel for campaign violations..." {please provide your nomination entries here} (Need Help? Click here.) Or Click here for more BOLD LIES. Need more ideas? Click Here
The category is the Boldest Bold-Faced Lie told to a foreign audience...and the nominees are.... Hillary Clinton... for telling citizens of New Zealand that she was named for the famous mountain climber Sir Edmund Hillary, even though she was born 7 years BEFORE he climbed Mt. Everest and anyone ever heard of him. The category of the most TRANSPARENT lie...the nominees are.... Al Gore..."There is NO controlling legal authority..." Al Gore..."I did nothing wrong, and I promise never to do it again..." Bill Clinton... "There is NO evidence, that I did (fill-in-the-blank)" Bill Clinton...."While my deposition was legally accurate, I did mislead some people..." {Email your nominations here} Don't forget to indicate the category.
Given the VOLUME of prevarications emanating from the White House, it would difficult to narrow the nomination list, but it would fun (outrageous but funny) to review the HIGHLIGHTS of Clinton Whoppers. There are many non-White House nominees, too.... Mark Feuhrman: "I never used the "N" word." OJ Simpson: "I was never physically abusive with Nicole." "I'd never wear such ugly-assed shoes." "I'm still looking for the killer." George Bush: "Read my lips...NO NEW taxes." |
